There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
