If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
