Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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