Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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