I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
