Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
