I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
