Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
