Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
