I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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