do herpes really smell.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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