There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
