apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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