it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
