Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize