I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
