i just had sex bonerless
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
