My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
