Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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