Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
