Me too!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
