Only a mothe r could love this liver
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
