she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
