I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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