your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
