Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
