You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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