I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
