Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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