well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
