One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
