i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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