Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
