Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
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You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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