But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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