everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
