I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
