Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
