So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
