STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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