also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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