6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
did i walk over a car last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize