I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
