I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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