There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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