the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
