i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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