its not stalking. its research.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
