My room smells like vodka and shame
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
