cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Drake has all the answers
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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