btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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