You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.