Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing