My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "