Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.