either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes