I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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