Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
