Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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