I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i out mim tonsoeep
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
