During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize