So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
