the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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