My hand turned me down
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize